I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have already put on my inside pants.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
false alarm, still single
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