he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
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I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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