I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
