Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
