idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
