to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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