I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize