On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
