I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
