Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
