My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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