There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
