i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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