I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
