apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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