is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
