honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
