new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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