just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
