so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
my liver is dry heaving
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
