I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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