Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We don't watch enough power rangers
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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