So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
