I think I died a long time ago.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
