My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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