From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
soo... how was my night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
