the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We're too hungover to prance.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
