I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you will always have a special place in my vag
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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