420 ftw
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You are the jesus of drinking
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
