Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
