Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
