Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The air taste purple.
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