she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
