I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
