Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My penis needs a shock collar
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
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