I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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