one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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