Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
third nipple confirmed
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
