Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
