The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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