Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize