K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
