p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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