Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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