You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
