Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
