and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
