There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you win again, gameday.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
