Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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