In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
