My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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