Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
