problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
