Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
  Replies (791) Good night (7624) Bad night (110789)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.

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  (519): All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like. http://tfl.nu/ro2k
  Replies (50) Good night (6492) Bad night (733)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...

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  (773): omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this... http://tfl.nu/ilg0
  Replies (42) Good night (963) Bad night (6370)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations

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  (216): Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations http://tfl.nu/f8qq
  Replies (18) Good night (5308) Bad night (642)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting

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  (719): We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting http://tfl.nu/vcgc
  Replies (6) Good night (4777) Bad night (794)
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  (408): View more from California

  Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise

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  (408): Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise http://tfl.nu/iazs
  Replies (11) Good night (5088) Bad night (725)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.

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  (512): You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication. http://tfl.nu/dq9l
  Replies (6) Good night (3045) Bad night (1097)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"

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  (936): the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?" http://tfl.nu/8dlf
  Replies (11) Good night (4757) Bad night (1056)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.

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  (215): We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug. http://tfl.nu/3xa9
  Replies (9) Good night (2171) Bad night (1101)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.

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  (360): just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs. http://tfl.nu/bvji
  Replies (18) Good night (1828) Bad night (465)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.

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  (520): One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops. http://tfl.nu/4y8e
  Replies (10) Good night (1943) Bad night (633)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.

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  (914): Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life. http://tfl.nu/0z43
  Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (1167)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.

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  (412): I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again. http://tfl.nu/ottt
  Replies (5) Good night (367) Bad night (1002)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.

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  (609): I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room. http://tfl.nu/he9i
  Replies (8) Good night (556) Bad night (525)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.

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  (412): its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game. http://tfl.nu/gy0r
  Replies (8) Good night (563) Bad night (214)

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