Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
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I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long