Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
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Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.