Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?

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(443): Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach? http://tfl.nu/arsp

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(303): View more from Colorado

The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"

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(303): The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick" http://tfl.nu/klf2

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(516): View more from New York

Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me

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(516): Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me http://tfl.nu/nv09

Replies (8) Good night (3197) Bad night (882)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.

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(317): I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting. http://tfl.nu/kkkr

Replies (25) Good night (3826) Bad night (2958)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not

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(609): I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not http://tfl.nu/tjy5

Replies (9) Good night (980) Bad night (3096)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.

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(267): I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it. http://tfl.nu/g3cm

Replies (3) Good night (1291) Bad night (1650)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?

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(+44): let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions? http://tfl.nu/wlcv

Replies (6) Good night (1632) Bad night (797)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...

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(+44): A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh... http://tfl.nu/ky7u

Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (2003)
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(386): View more from Florida

I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.

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(386): I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone. http://tfl.nu/mucl

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand

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(412): Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand http://tfl.nu/54cj

Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (540)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.

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(330): I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one. http://tfl.nu/be90

Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (1470)
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(706): View more from Georgia

My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.

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(706): My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up. http://tfl.nu/hq93

Replies (16) Good night (1651) Bad night (527)
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(607): View more from New York

I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it

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(607): I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it http://tfl.nu/h8wz

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(708): View more from Illinois

I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.

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(708): I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples. http://tfl.nu/uuho

Replies (3) Good night (389) Bad night (679)
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(229): View more from Georgia

I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.

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(229): I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady. http://tfl.nu/zna4

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