Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
