Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
