I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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