Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
