In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
