What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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