I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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