how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
